Yesterday started as any other normal day. We have been pretty much just taking time to enjoy our baby girl and not think about things to come. For some reason last night I decided it was time to come out of my safety zone and start exploring this thing called Down syndrome. It was late, everyone had gone to bed and there I sat alone with my mind allowing it to wander. I found myself getting out the folder the Social Worker had given us in the hospital and looking through the information which quickly led me to the web. Thankfully she had warned us prior to leaving the hospital that we would need to be careful of the websites we visited regarding Down syndrome. For one thing there is so much information that you can overwhelm yourself quickly, but for the most important reason, within all that info you can get a LOT of misinformation. I decided to look around a bit,but pretty much stuck to the websites she suggested.
The first site I visited was the National Down Syndrome Society. Here I found a lot of really good information and most helpful was the New and Expectant Parents informational area. I was able to watch videos, request information, download a guide and even find my local Down syndrome guild. Once I found my local chapter and sent them an email asking for information I started searching these websites for anything I could find to tell me my little girl was going to be ok. Of course I never found that, but I did find a world of helpful information. So much that I became overwhelmed just on those 2 sites.
I started thinking about the parent I want to be and the parent I am. I am that person that once I set my mind to something I am going to do it and do it to the best of my ability. I am going to find out all I can, I will research it and I will go over the top...be it planing a party or educating myself on something new I WILL be the best. Not to sound conceited, but I love this about myself and it has paid off in my personal life and business life. So I think to myself, why should this be any different. I need this knowledge and I WANT this information. What ever I can do to get it I will do. I spent several hours on line and when I had finally exhausted myself I just sat back and cried. I cried so hard I had to go and lock myself in the bathroom where no one could hear me. I cried so hard I could barely breathe and the towel stuffed in my face to muffle the sound did not help! When I was finally able to calm myself I felt spent and had to sleep.
I had a great night's sleep! I think this is due to me finally taking action and taking control. Now I am feeling like the Mommy and the woman I have always been...a ACTION person. Although some say a controlling person. Hey, I just like things done and done right..ha! Things are in motion and we will see where this leads us.
Today is a take action kind of day...
The Mommy
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