Honesty...

I never thought I would look at my daughter and find her cute or attractive.

THERE, I said it!

Call a spade a spade, it was the truth. When Trinity was born and I first saw her I honestly thought she looked a little odd.  As I mentioned in my 1st post I thought that she must have taken after my husbands side of the family.  Then for months after, when I would look at my daughter, I would see nothing but Down syndrome.  People were constantly telling us, and still do to this day, that she doesn't look like she has Downs. The sad thing, looking back, is this statement would bring me a mini second of hope, but then in the next I would think the person was just patronizing me because she clearly has the characteristics and sadly that is all I could see.   I later came to accept that it does not help when people tell us this because it isn't true.  It is purely ignorance on their part about what Down syndrome is and who could judge them for that...I had not thought about it in this capacity either.  Looking at my daughter in those first months all I could hope was for God to give me the strength to love her and to connect with her.

NOW...I think I must have been crazy!  I look at this beautiful face.....

and see all the amazing things she does and FEEL how much she loves me AND how much I love her and I wonder why I ever doubted Gods plan for this little girl.  When she smiles I melt.  When she hears my voice and looks for me I melt.  When she is just so tired, but  reaches a goal she has been working on I melt.  People are always telling me that God gives special children to special people because he knows we can handle it.  I have to say that this is not true, there was nothing anymore special about me than the next person, but I thank God that he chose me and is trusting me with Trinity.

Today has been a special kind of day...

The Mommy