Trinity Michaela: A Birth Story...

I have borrowed this blogging idea from Enjoying the Small Things , but these are my thoughts, my beliefs, my feelings and my ramblings.  They are sometimes blunt, sometimes hard to believe and sometimes downright painful, but I have learned that they are all not just mine...but almost every mother's at some point when faced with this realism.

In the Beginning...

I admit it ....I never wanted to be pregnant in the first place!  Don't get me wrong I wanted kids and LOTS of them, but I was never of the thought that the child had to be born of my body to be mine and be loved by me.  My husband Washington, on the other hand, was not so sure.  So we had a baby.....Tristan.

Amazingly my first pregnancy was Grrreat!  I would tell people, and still do to this day, that it had to be a trick because I had nothing but smooth sailing.  There were a few bumps and bruises, but that old adage that you forget it all when you hold your new baby in your arms is true! And the trick was,  it was SO good that I would want to do it again... 1 month after the birth I was already thinking about the next one and I wanted a GIRL!

My second pregnancy...

After finally getting a grove and feeling like we had our routine pretty pat, we decided to start trying for our 2nd child.  Tristan was 18 months by this time and it had taken a while to get pregnant with him so we felt we were good to start trying....little did we know that we would get pregnant right away!  The second pregnancy did not start as smoothly as the first.  I had morning sickness, I was uncomfortable and I was so tired I just wanted to sleep all the time, but mentally I was elated!  I just knew that this meant the baby was going to be a girl.  To my utter joy, and my husbands relief, at 23 weeks we went for our check up and found out we were having a girl!  I already knew her name.....she was to be called Trinity.

The news that our baby was to be a girl was the only real relief, for lack of a better word, that I had during this pregnancy.  Not only was this pregnancy physically different for me but it was also mentally different.  I had this overwhelming feeling that something was wrong.  I prayed a lot during those months that she would be healthy and even a few times that she would not have Down syndrome...YES, I actually prayed that!  I could not figure out why I felt this way?  I even went so far as to ask a friend of ours, that is a Sono Tech,  about alternate ultrasounds, how reliable they are and the blood tests offered. What ever information she could give me was welcomed and she gave me all kinds of great information that I feel helped our decision. After discussing it with my husband we decided NOT to do any extra testing or sonos.  In our discussions we believed that if the tests came back that the baby had defects then we were not going to abort so why add the risk of testing.  I think in both our minds we believed that we would never have a baby with problems because we already had such a healthy baby boy, but still I worried. In the last few months of pregnancy we went for sonos every other week because I was "high risk" with gestational diabetes (that went away immediately after each of my deliveries) and she scored perfect on everything.  An absolute Genius I was sure!  Our doctor could find nothing for us to worry about or anything that looked odd.....but still I worried.


Labor & Delivery...

The day I went into labor I was not prepared. First I still had 5 weeks to go and second I didn't really believe I was in labor.  I work approx an hour from our house and I went in that day...gripping the steering wheel the whole way!  I thought I was having Braxton Hicks and was just sure that they would go away. I spent the rest of the day and evening contracting, but not so bad that it changed my mind.  I was smiling and trying to enjoy the Shower my coworkers were putting on for me.  I even went home with balloons galore so that Tristan and I could have some fun together!

My husband, on the other hand, decided to place a call to our Doctor just to let him know what was going on.  At the time, the contractions were off and on and no less than 8 minutes. As I suspected, based on the last pregnancy when we would run to the hospital only to be sent home again, the Doctor asked us to wait and call him back if they got to 5 or 6 minutes.  I decided to call my friend Amy to put her on alert  to take our son, but more in case my husband made me go to the hospital rather than anything real.  I was able to fall asleep that evening, but somewhere around 4:00am I woke with a start!  I laid there for a bit and noticed the contractions seemed to be coming a bit more frequently.  I tried to go back to sleep, but it was impossible. Timing the contractions they were 4 minutes...Ooops!  I had missed the 5-6 minute mark I was given, but still I believed we would only head to the hospital to be sent home. After waking my husband and at his urging and the doctor asking us to come in, I got up to head out.  I believed so much that we would be right back that I only packed a bag for my son and grabbed my camera.  My thought on the camera was we would take some funny pictures of us in the hospital and then being sent home!  At 5am we headed out to the hospital and handed my son off to his Aunt Mimi with a hug and kiss and a "See you soon"

As I was being hooked up to the machines and belts and what-nots I mentioned to the nurse that at last check, which was only a few days ago, the baby was breech.  She checked and "Yes" she still was, but she was going to have the doctor come and check.  We placed a few calls to our parents and some close friends, but all in the light we would be going home.  Around 10am our Doctor, WONDERFUL MAN, came in to see me. He hooked me up and not only was I giving birth today, but the baby had flipped and was in position.  There was no doubt in his mind this was a GO!

After a call for my epidural, I was NOT going to miss that, we started calling my mom to get on a plane and get here and get here fast.  (side note: all of our family lives out of state and unfortunately not in any states that touch ours or that touch ones that touch ours!)  We also started discussing middle names!  This was happening so fast and we had not come to a consensus on the middle name...I wanted McKenna and he had a list that he was trying to get squeezed by, but none of them were working.  Also, by this time Amy had made it back to the hospital, having gotten all the kids off to their schools, and I was ready to see her....this was going to happen!

When the nurse came in to check me my final time she advised we would not be pushing until the doctor got there.  This was odd for me as my first delivery had me pushing for 3 hours only to have the doc show up in the last 5 minutes!  When our doctor walked in the room and got settled a nurse grabbed one leg, my husband the other and poor Amy was left on the side.  The Doc said push, I gave one big push and he said "Ok relax and....Whooooa!" and out she came.  Fast as lightening, my little girl, my Trinity, was ready to be in this world!

And we meet...

Our doctor (or the nurse?), after wiping her up a bit placed her in my arms.  I remember looking down at her and thinking she looked a bit odd and not like my son.  I chalked this up to maybe her having my husbands genes since my son had looked so much like me.  So much like me, that it was hard to tell our baby pictures apart.  After a minute or two she was whisked off to the side to be cleaned up, measured and all checked out.

Washington and Amy were gushing over the baby and making all kinds of noise about her and all I could think was "She looks different?"   In my mind I kept telling myself to play it cool, she is a beautiful baby, so what if she looks like her Papi.  Obviously I found him attractive, so she probably just looks a little different because she had just come out and needed time to plumpen up and lose all the red.  Still, I was very happy to see her and once this little 2 second dialog played through my mind I was quickly sitting up trying to get another glimpse of my baby girl.

After she was cleaned up and Washington re-presented her to me I was in heaven, cooing over her, taking her picture, kissing her and all the things a new mommy loves to do. Our Doctor and nurses were all cooing and loving on her too.  It was a wonderful experience!

I also have to note - I believe I was in a state of shock...  we had ANOTHER one now!  Not only do we now have another one, but she is 5 weeks early, her room is not done, she weighs a LOT less than what I thought she was going to...we don't have diapers to fit her, we don't have clothes since she would be wearing preemie, we don't even have bottle nipples!  My husband calmly kissed me and said "we will fix it, don't worry, now....what shall we call her"....all was right again in my world.

We discussed a few names and when he suggested Michaela I thought it possible, but when he read me the meaning I knew....

Michaela - who resembles God

And so our baby girl was named Trinity Michaela.



My moms flight had not arrived and my dad was out of town on business and we still could not reach him, but we had friends in the lobby that were ready to meet our baby girl!  We spent time with them showing her off, taking pictures, talking and laughing and discussing all the stuff the Aunties and Uncles could go buy..:)  It was a great time!

Late that afternoon our main delivery room nurse came by to let us know our pediatrician that we use for our son was here and they wanted him to do the new baby screening.  I thought this to be a bit odd as normally they do their rounds in the morning and, like with my son's birth, I figured we would not see him until the next day.  Well lucky day I thought, that he just happened to be in the area.

I am a little fuzzy on this part as things happened so fast, I am not even sure if he said anything to us or went straight to Trinity.... as our world...MY WORLD... was about to be turned upside down.

Upside Down and What?....

I am sitting up in my bed just beaming at Trinity as the Doctor started examining her and I start to notice he is saying things to the nurse that do not understand.  They were talking so much and he was so matter of fact...not at all like someone is when there is a new baby in the room.  What was going on?  What is he saying?  I don't understand?  Low Muscle Tone?  Wider eyes?  flatter face, the spacing in the toes, the line on the palms...Wait? What?  I don't understand?  Washington is talking, asking questions.  I think I just sat there?  I am not sure when it started sinking in?  Did someone tell me it was Downs?  What does this mean?  How did I find this out ... I still do not recall and I have no idea.   The nurse is talking to me but I am not sure what she is saying, she is thanking the Doctor for coming.  I think they left the room?   I am sitting there with a wave coming over me....I have questions, I don't understand, how could this happen to me, to us?  and the next wave  .... What will become of her?  Who is going to take care of her when I am gone?  Who will protect her from the evils that lurk?  Who will protect her purity?  Will she marry?  Will she be able to function?  I can not even list out the questions I had in my mind!  I can not even recall the next 3 hours before my Mom arrived.  All I remember is that Washington and I cried, we talked and we cried some more and then we thanked God for the 4 hours we had before we found out to allow us to get to know this beautiful creature he had given us.

I do remember our doctor and 2 of the nurses coming back in later that evening.  My Doctor let us know that he had suspected when he saw Trinity, but they needec onfirmation.  He then sat down on the bed with me and told me the most amazing stories about his niece Shyla who was also born with Down syndrome.  How she was always the light in any room and people just gravitated to her.  The other 2 nurses that came in brought news of happiness and joy also.  I appreciated it at the time, but later I would come to cling to those few minutes with these professionals.   As I would come to find out my experience with my doctor and nurses was not the norm as most of my friends experienced a much more negative turn from their staff. 

I hope you get a chance to read and follow my blog.  I have named my story Typical Downs. Typical represent my first born, my son, which I have learned is the "correct" language to refer to him rather than "Normal".  Downs represent my 2nd born, my daughter, who was born with Downs Syndrome.  This is my story.....

The Mommy


*** UPDATE ***


Nov 11, 2011  - Our little girl has turned one today and what an amazing day it was!  I wanted to post this update at the bottom of our birth story for a few reasons, but the main one being that those that are reading this page are most likely in our situation at some stage or you are a relative or friend of someone that now has a miracle and does not know it.   As most people will not get as deep into our blog I think it is only fair to let you know a few things....


If I could go back and tell myself somethings these are a few points I would make SURE to get across to myself:


This will be a blessing in disguise and she is going to teach you about life and a whole new meaning of life!


Life with her will be BEAUTIFUL


You will be a better person BECAUSE of her.


You are going to LOVE this child more than you can imagine!


Don't let the fear of her future steal the joy out of her today.


The shock will not last.


Don't be scared, you were chosen


She will be all that you dreamed of and MORE!


You are stronger than you know!